J: BEING NBSB (No Boyfriend Since Birth)

Well, what about being that NBSB girl?

Oh, how about that?! Being one, myself at 23, it gets kind of sad at times. (READ:  I hate to start on a depressing note right here, but believe me it will get better.) It makes me think of what have I been missing by not having a boyfriend, it also makes me think if I have already missed out on my chance to find the right guy. Hoping and sobbing while watching romantic movies because I still don’t know how that kind of love really feels like. Just sitting, wondering will I ever find one. That John Mayer song—“A Love Song for No One”, that is how it feels sometimes. The feeling of being left behind while almost all of my friends are being pursued by amazing, and sometimes not so amazing, guys and then on to having a relationship of their own makes me want to burst out to this song most of the time;

“I could have met you in a sandbox
I could have passed you on the sidewalk 
could I have missed my chance and watched you walk away?
I'm tired of being alone so hurry up and get here 
I'm so tired of being alone so hurry up and get here”

But then, this feisty woman inside me pulls me back to reality as I drift away to “pittyville” once more. And then I will just realize again how many girls my age would envy whatever I have right now. Just how many girls my age could say that they are so thrilled to know how it feels like to be pursued for the first time? Or how that first date feels like? Or how does a first kiss feel? That certain feeling of not knowing and the excitement of having something to look forward to, these are just some of the things I could still get a hold of to. And, I know I am not alone!

I know I am not the only one in this world who feels like a loser sometimes just because I or she still doesn’t have had any relationship yet at this age. Just realize that maybe we bloom a little later because we’re not supposed to have a BOYfriend, we are meant to have a MANfriend J I always say this to whomever is asking me why I still don’t have a boyfriend, and I don’t intend to offend anyone by saying this, “I don’t have a boyfriend because I am that one time big time girl”, and they will ask me what I meant and to which I will answer defiantly, “I am not the kind of girl who got to have tons of boyfriend to prove my femininity, I am the kind of girl that will be ready for the man I will spend the rest of my life with, wherever he is”

I wish my statements here wouldn’t be taken the wrong way, I really admire ladies my age that’s able to sustain a long-time relationship and I am so happy for all of you! But, just thinking of all the possibilities and adventures yet to unfold in my life, it’s just amazing!

Let me share a little story. Back in college it was my conscious decision to not be involved with anyone or even entertain any kind of woo-ing, that was a pact I made with myself, but I’m just a girl and I’ve had my own share of extreme crushes, platonic friendships and ultimate heartaches. Being heartbroken over a relationship that never really existed is the worst! And, I’ve been through all that. I was never and ever will be perfect, but I have embraced these imperfections and just accepted the fact that it is part of life. I have to be hurt every once in a while for me to be stronger, better and much more prepared for whatever life and love throws my way. I would not go into details; instead I will share how I got through it. And, it was never easy; it took time, sleepless night, bucket of tears and ample time of recharging my self-esteem.

Here it goes:

·         First, acknowledge that what I am trying to get over was never really there. That it was only me and I should be alright for myself.

·         Second, go through the pain, but never for too long.

·         Third, go out with friends and have fun.

·         This may sound cliché but the fourth step is to continue living. I might’ve gotten a haircut or something just to have another fresh beginning but other than that, all I did was, I continued to live. I moved on and nothing feels better than that J

So, to that guy who I am yet to meet in my life, I would just want to let you know that I am here still preparing myself to share my first hello, my first “can we have coffee sometime?”, my first date, my first ride home, my first love with you J I hope to cross paths with you when I am done being a girl and are already an independent lady. I will never lose faith of finding you or you finding me as soon as we both are ready to embark on this wonderful journey called LOVE.

Make everyday a day filled with love, life and laughter!

-J (020113/12:27AM)



P.S. May I suggest that you play this song by Jordin Sparks, it's called "Worth the Wait" and be inspired. This has been my anthem since college an it really helped me get through some stuff and a fool-proof feel good song. I am wishing it will do the same to you ;)