Saturday, September 28, 2013

A: WHY SOMETIMES YOU NEED TO BE "PLASTIC"

PLASTIC. According to the second entry on the urban dictionary, this word means, someone who is fake or has a false type of character.

I am blessed to have a lot of friends. There were many down moments in my life that I wouldn’t have survived had I not have all the friends that I have support me. And for them, I will forever be thankful. BUT, just as I had enemies who I am thankful I am friends with now, I have “friends” that I wish I NEVER EVER met. Those people you wish remained as strangers. People you wouldn’t be bothered being enemies with.  

There are a few reasons why some of us remain “friends” with people whom we really want to push off the train track and watch as the ground open and hell eat them ala-drag me to hell (that movie has a bad ending, doesn’t it?). Anyway, to name a few of these reasons, we have:

1.      Sign of gratitude (UTANG NA LOOB)
I hate this feeling. But you know how it is when someone was the only way you could’ve gotten through something really difficult, and though you will forever be grateful for the help he/she gave, you honestly also want to totally delete him/her out of your life. If only that will not make YOU look like a big ahole.

None of us wants to be tagged with the word “ungrateful.” I think most of us, if not all of us, will never want to be called that word. If you did something for me whether I asked for your help or you just willingly gave a helping hand, I will forever be grateful. But gratefulness can only last too long. Let me explain why I say so. If a person starts to treat you like shit after helping you or even worse, because he/she thinks you owe them your life, then doesn’t that give you enough reason why you can start to fade away from that person’s life? One can only haunt someone so much for all the “nice” things done for him/her. A person can choose not to do shit for someone anyway. But if you choose to do good things for someone with the hopes that you can make the person be your slave all your life, then my middle finger goes to you. 

2.      Family friend
You grew up knowing them because they are friends with your mom/dad. You don’t like them, but you have no choice but to be extra nice to them when they are around. Some of them may even be “feeling close” that they become a little too intruding about your personal life. But what can you do, but to be very respectful to them, and just smile and be friendly. You may dislike them, but you clearly do not want them and your parents (or whoever from your family is close to them) to have a misunderstanding if you try to pull a bitch fit in front of them. Right?

3.      They are your boyfriend/girlfriend’s friend OR he/she is your friend's girlfriend/boyfriend
You hang out one time because they boyfriend/girlfriend took you with him/her on a night out with his/her friends, and now you are  forced to accept friend requests from people you barely know. Forced to share with them some of your most personal photos and most precious moments. What the hey. But you got to do it.

4.      You like/love the people who this frenemy knows
Okay, you hate him/her, but you like his/her family. You absolutely despise him/her, but you love all of his friends who are now your friends because he/she introduced them to you. And as a sign of respect, you kind of let the “friendship” stay just so you will not lose your connection with the other friends you’ve made because of this ahole you know. Oh isn’t that a pickle.

5.      You will always bump into him/her so might as well pretend
You live close to each other, or if you luckier, you share the same flat, you're officemates or better your work stations are right next each other. And there is no way in hell you are going to go through some awkward moments of the two of you bumping into each other and not wanting to talk; way to much drama than what you want in the menu. So what to do but to just pretend that you still like him as a person (because you know you’d appreciate him more had he been a foot rest) and just go on with life.

I could go on with the reasons, but at least for this entry, I will stop at 5. I may be raising some eyebrows right now, and maybe there are those who are completely agreeing to every single point I just raised. If you are the former, then I really don’t care. The truth is, all these happen, and it happens to most of us. And though the saying goes, “Honesty is the best policy”, who can really tell when being honest would be most helpful and when being a little bit plastic will come in handy?



- A!

J: The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel

The long hiatus is over!! And, it's time to share what I've been up to for the last few months. 

Well, for a start, I found a new job and that's what's keeping me super busy. But, I never fell short on adventures and social life. Let me begin my series of stories by sharing with you a movie I recently watched and basically changed how I see India, optimism and love, "The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel"


The movie is about a group of retired people from different walks of life, with different stories and somehow escaping from something. They all received an email from a very optimistic young Indian hotel/retirement home owner, offering them to stay there for free, all expense paid. And, when they get to India, everything that they expected came crumbling down and they found out things about themselves they never knew existed and one of them revisited his past and he proves how true love can transcend time, distance, culture, age and even gender. I love the twist of the story and how their lives suddenly changed; from being just plain comfortable to complicated yet fulfilling lives. 

They went through all the the hustles and bustles of India, adapted to their culture, which is very different from theirs, accepted their differences and found what true love really means. 

Let me share a gist of the story of the two main characters that really hit me straight to the heart. 

The first one went to India to find a new purpose in life after her husband died. And, she found a new job that made her realize that her purpose wasn't really lost and that her age is never a hindrance to continue her dream. And that it is never too late or nobody is ever too old to fall in love again. 

The second main character is a judge who once lived in India and found his true live there but the country's culture got in the way and forced him to go back to his country and never got the chance to ho back there until now. His search for his true love was quite a journey and when they met it felt like they were not separated even just for a day, they talked, explained things and forgive each other. They proved that no matter what other people say, it can never stop a true love's beating heart. 

I would love to go on and on about every detail of this movie, but I don't think that would be fair, because I want all of you to experience the love and joy that I experienced whenever I watch it. I hope this movie touches your heart the same way it touched and warmed mine. This movie is all about love, hope and second chances, and don't we all need to see that unfold every once in a while?

And, to borrow a very inspiring line from the movie, "Everything will be alright in the end; if it's not alright, it's not yet the end."

Enjoy! 

-J

Friday, September 13, 2013

J: ALL ABOUT BEBI A | HAPPY BIRTHDAY!'



As I am writing this while stuck in an epic traffic from work and my brain is already taking a nap, I can still dig up inside the hallows of my sleeping brain hundreds of things why Bebi A is such a unique person. She has her own set of quirks that can never be paralleled, in short, she's CRAZY! Haha. But I love her more for that. And, you know what they say: "birds of the same feather are THE SAME BIRDS!" Ahaha. 

Bebi A has a challenging personality. She has this tough coating, but once you get through her toughness, that's where you'll see the bebi A that we love very much! She's super caring and she always got your back! She's also really sweet and have a sense of belongingness towards all her friends. 

Bebi A has her own set of vocabulary, she always comes up with these weird acronyms or mashed up words and terms of endearment that you have to get permission from her before using it. Ahahaha. She's the queen of AP (attitude problem), the founder of names such as clang-ot, shzio, atzi, romee, and so much more! This is her quirk, she loves playing with words! 

Bebi A is a lover. She loves to love, and whatever or whomever she loves, she definitely let them feel it through many ways; from the little things like taking your cab's plate number to totally going out of her way to show how much she cares. 

Bebi A is my bestfriend. She is someone I can just be crazy with and never feel judged. We know each others secrets, what makes us tick, what majes us gush  or what hurts us the most. She is a true confidante, a secret's keeper. She's so perfectly imperfect! And as she turns a year older today, I'd like to raise a glass for her and celebrate everything that she is! I love yoy very much bebi A! Happy Birthday and I miss you!!!! 


Love lots,
Bebi J :) 



A: No-brainer tips on how to show love when receiving "not-so-nice" gifts


Oookay, days of slacking off are over. We are back, lovelies!

So many things happened during our hiatus. Some of them are “blog-worthy”, and some are just a total waste of my laptop battery. And just to name a few; haze in Singapore, my cousin’s first time in the lion city, the boyfie celebrated his 27th, the second time I donated blood, ala-television-drama-show events in my previous flat (Haha! Ooh those cheap monkeys!).

BUT in line with wanting to start fresh after a 3-months-too-long-pause in wring blog entries, let’s begin with September, shall we?

13 September 2013. Oh sweet Friday the 13th. This day is pretty special to me, oh wait, let me reword that, this day is REALLY SPECIAL to me. Because shawty it's my birthday! I have waited 360+ days for this. Haha! So many things excite me about this day; my small celebration with very special people, my time of relaxation, going out with the boyfie, and of course, GIFTS! There is but one thing about celebrating my birthday that makes me worry: trying to not break the heart of people who give me gifts that I totally do not like.

So yes, this blog, I would say is partly about lying and partly about not wanting to break anyone’s heart. I cannot be the only one who dreads a situation like thi, right? Right? So in order to show that you appreciate the effort that one has exerted to get you something on your special day – may it be something you like or something you just really hate -, here are some tips:


1. Smile and say thank you.
Simple. We are all taught (well at least I hope we all were) that we should always say thank you when someone gives us something, and this kind gesture should not exclude those moments when the item you got is not something you like. No matter how big or small, cheap of expensive, pretty or ugly a gift is, you should smile and say thank you. This is a no-brainer. If you didn’t know this one until now, then there is a nice place for you in somewhere not in heaven. Haha!


2. Try the thing on or show it to someone and brag about it
If you are given something that you can wear, TRY IT ON. It will make the person feel that you are very happy about his/her gift. If the item is not something you can wear, then you can try to show it to someone, try bragging about it. At least make your giver feel that you are proud about the gift.


3. Give that person a hug
Hhmmm maybe this is not too "powerful", but it wouldn’t hurt to show appreciation through hugging. At least I think.


4. Post the item on Facebook/Instagram/Twitter or wherever multimedia site you prefer
For most of us, our lives are almost completely showcased in every social media site there is. And what a pleasant way to say thank you to someone but to have whatever gift you got be posted on your Facebook, Instagram, Twitter or whatever account.


5. Use the item and show the person
I think this really is the best way to say thank you. Okay, you don’t like the item, but it’s not like you would need to wear or use it everyday. One day wouldn’t hurt. If you have plans to see the person who gave you the item you just love to hate, then try USE/WEAR/BRING the item. We all know that we like seeing a gift actually being used by the person we gave it to.

Okay, so these things are the ones that I do (let me be honest) when my love for a person is way greater than my opinion on the item he/she got for me. But do note that these may also be the same things that other people do when they actually GENUINELY like a gift. These are very common steps anyway. So don’t immediately assume that someone is doing all these steps on the item you gave him/her because he/she didn’t like it. There’s a big chance that he/she may really like it. Who would really know, right?

_____

Okay, so let’s look at the other end of the table. What if someone important or special to you is going to celebrate his/her birthday, and you want to give him/her something. How do you make sure that you will buy him/her something she would love?

And no, no, no, don’t think that just because you are very close to a person, you would instantly know what gift to give her. Even my mom, best friend, or boyfriend feel like it’s always a hit or miss when buying gifts for me. And those people KNOW me. Like REALLY KNOW ME. So don’t take that kind of risk.

So what to do?

1-10. ASK
If you are close to the person you plan to give a gift to, then the tendencies are, that person will be honest with you with what he/she wants for his/her special day. And if you are really close, you can even tell him/her how much budget you really have for a gift. Just like how I am with my friends – I ask them how much money they are willing to spend on me before I tell them what gift they can buy for me. Because I am spoiled like that! 

If you plan to surprise someone, then find a “medium”. Find someone who can help you sniff out details. People who can help give answers to questions like: What does this person want for his/her birthday? What would make him/her really happy? What item would ensure that this person wouldn’t lie to my face about liking the gift?

Wow. This is quite an entry for such a tiny topic. But I hope I am not the only one out who feels that these are the steps needed to be done to avoid breaking someone’s heart when you don’t like his/her gift, and making sure you buy someone a gift he/she would like. Some silly tips from a non-expert. :D 

Is this entry plain evil or is it really about trying to be nice. You tell me.

Hope you, lovelies, have a very nice day whichever side of the world you are. And happy birthday to all who are celebrating their birthday today! Mwah!

P.S. This blog entry may need further editing. I will do so later. Right now I have to prep and enjoy my day. J



My super pretty "basket" of flowers from my friends in the US, Qatar, and the Philippines! Oh I looove them so! My first birthday surprise. :) And yes, I genuinely LOVE the gift! :)




Spread the love!
- A!